


My Guardian

by waywardmoeyy



Series: My Guardian [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Castiel/Female Reader - Freeform, Castiel/Reader Smut, Castiel/Reader angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2019-09-11 20:47:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16860037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardmoeyy/pseuds/waywardmoeyy
Summary: You are a hunter who hunts and lives with the Winchesters. You are like a little sister to them since you joined them a few years back, leaving the solo life behind. You and the brothers are hunting Crowley after he started harvesting souls before their time.





	1. Chapter One

You hunched down low, leaning against the frigid brick wall, and waited for the signal. Dean nodded at you from across the alley giving you the “go”. You nudged Sam, who was crouched beside you, as you gripped your demon blade tightly in your left hand. Sam slipped from your side and walked into the alley to join Dean. You quickly followed.  
You were a tad nervous; there was no denying that. This was the moment you and the boys had been waiting for. Crowley was so close…  
He was at this old ways again, harvesting souls before their time. Dean, Sam, and you had tracked him from one abandoned warehouse to another before finally tracking him here.  
You peered up at the shattered windows and watched as the shadows of Crowley’s minions paced behind them. You glanced over at Dean again, the assumed leader as always. He nodded to Sam and you. You placed you hand on the ice-cold door handle and froze. A howl pierced through the night air.  
“Hellhounds” you whispered to Sam. He nodded. Fuck. You had never personally encountered a hellhound, but sure as hell knew how to kill one. Thankfully, you had the two most amazing hunters by your side. You glanced up at the younger Winchester as he stood closely behind you, his eyes darkened by the night. He shot you a quick smile.  
“Go ahead, Y/N. We’ve got you.” Sam whispered, his chin resting gently on your shoulder. You smiled as your closest friend placed his hand over yours and turned the knob.  
The three of you scurried into the building and headed down a dimly lit hallway. The lights flickered erratically. The smell of mold and sulfur burned your nose, making your face scrunch in disgust. You had never gotten accustomed to that smell. The muffled sounds of Crowley’s followers chatting filled the hall, silencing the sounds of your footsteps. It wasn’t easy to walk silently in combat boots.  
Your team turned the corner and peered down the stairs. Dean took in a deep breath. “Y/N, come with me downstairs. I bet that son of a bitch is down there. Sam, take out any stragglers up here.” Dean and Sam nodded at each other as Dean softly placed his hand on your back. “Come on Y/N.”  
You nodded goodbye to Sam and slowly made your way down the stairs. Dean stepped in front of you, as always. He was always protective of you, as was Sam, even though both of them knew you were a hell of a hunter. You had learned a lot since you left the solo life and joined them a few years back. Still, you weren’t even close to their level of expertise and gladly let them lead in situations like this.  
Another howl filled the air, this one much louder than the last. Shivers crept up your arms as you gripped your knife even tighter. Dean and you reached the bottom of the stairs and were met by a large, mostly empty room with concrete walls and floors. Angel warding littered the walls. Then, a familiar laugh met your ears.  
“Hello, darling,” a familiar, smug voice announced. “I was wondering when you’d come back for me.”  
“Crowley,” you snarled. He smiled down at you from his makeshift throne atop a small platform. Frankly, the whole scene looked like a gigantic ego trip for the pompous asshat. His chair was guarded by two very large demons that stared down at you with expressionless black eyes. They just stood there, goons waiting for their king’s command.  
“How have you been, my lovely? I see you and your hound dog have missed me. Well-“ another howl broke through the air, “I have hounds of my own, and their dying to meet you.” Crowley smirked, his eyes fixed on you.  
Your eyes widened. Dean gripped his blade and lunged at one of the guards. Within seconds, they were on the ground taking turns throwing punches. The second goon charged at you. You lifted your knife and slammed it into the giant’s chest sending flashes of orange light throughout his body. Great body guard. That was easy, too easy you thought as you peered back up at the King of Hell.  
Crowley laughed and stood from his throne. Dean grunted as he stabbed his demon blade into Crowley’s other guard. He hurried to his feet and lunged towards the King. Crowley held out his hand, an invisible force stopping Dean in his tracks.  
“Ah ah ah, Mr. Rough and Tumble. I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Crowley grinned as a half a dozen more demons flooded the room. Dean ran at them, distracting them from you. You took your chance. You gripped your blade and hopped towards Crowley. He snapped his gaze to you, “Remember those hounds I mentioned? Well, it’s about time you all met.”  
You halted just feet from Crowley as he whistled. Your eyes widened as a howl echoed from behind him, then another. The growling and snorting hounds closed in on you as you stood there frozen in fear. You pulled your blade in front of you and hoped for the best.  
“Come and get it you bastards!” You screamed as you rushed towards the sounds. Dumb move. You felt their oversized paws pin you down to the floor as they barked at each other. Your head crashed against the hard concrete. Your vision swirled as you struggled to move your arm to use your knife on the snarling monsters.  
“Y/N!” Dean shouted as he fought to get to you. You screamed as a searing hot pain crossed your midsection. Dean stabbed the last demon and rushed over to you. He flailed his blade at the invisible hounds. Yelps and squeals erupted followed by black ooze covering the floor, swirling with the blood that was already there. Blood? You didn’t remember anyone bleeding…  
“Damn. That was my favorite pair!” Crowley growled. “Well, I’ll see you two around then. Toodles.” Crowley blew a kiss at you, and then snapped his fingers. He was gone, again.  
You moved your hand to your abdomen. The pain was getting worse by the second. You glanced up at Dean as he slipped off his jacket and pressed it against your stomach, making you scream out in pain. Your vision blurred.  
“Sam!” Dean shouted. You heard Sam’s boots stomping down the stairs and head towards you. You turned your head his direction, your eyes fluttering as you struggled to keep your eyes open. The pain was unbearable, but you didn’t dare look down. You didn’t want to know what was going on.  
“Oh shit! Y/N! Dean, what the hell happened?” Sam rushed his hands to your stomach, making you scream again.  
“Hell… hounds…” you stuttered, the pain almost causing you to pass out. You lifted your hand from your abdomen and glanced down. Your hand and Dean’s jacket were soaked in blood. Shit. It was bad, really bad.  
“Sammy, we’ve got to get her back to the bunker.” Dean commanded, his voice shaky.  
“She won’t make it. We have to call Cas.” Sam retorted.  
“This place is warded against angels, Sam. We need to get her home!” Dean slowly placed his arm behind your shoulder blades, the other just under your knees, and picked you up. “Sammy, unlock the car.”  
Sam nodded quickly and sprinted up the stairs towards the exit. Dean cradled you in his arms as he carefully hurried up the stairs. “Stay with me Y/N. We’ll get you fixed up soon.” His emerald green eyes were full of worry. You forced a smile at him as you coughed, the metallic taste of blood filling your mouth.  
When you both reached the car, Dean slowly and carefully lowered you into the back seat. Sam rolled up his own jacket and placed it underneath your head. “Dean, you drive. I’ll sit in the back with Y/N. I will hold pressure in case she loses consciousness.” Dean nodded and hurried into the drivers seat and revved the engine. Sam slid into the back seat with you, placing your head gently against his leg and holding pressure to your wound.  
“Y/N, stay with us. Were 35 minutes from home. Just take deep breaths and keep your eyes open.” Dean commanded from the drivers seat as he pulled onto the main road.  
“Ye-yes sir.” You answered, trying to make light of the situation. You always thought you would go out in a blaze of glory. Not by some god damn hellhounds at the hands of that Scottish son of a bitch.  
Dean hit a bump in the road, causing you to bounce up and down in the back seat. Searing pain washed over your abdomen, then your entire body. And just like that, you were out cold.  
**  
Cas glanced up from the couch at the sound of commotion. He slowly stood as he heard footsteps stomp down the bunker’s entrance stairs.  
“Cas! Castiel!” Dean screamed. “Cas, get your feathery ass over here!” Dean commanded as he stepped into the doorway of the living room, holding you in his arms. You were still unconscious. “Cas, it’s bad.” Dean held you close, afraid of losing the closest thing he had to a sister.  
“Place her on the couch.” Castiel commanded, a hint of nervousness in his voice. There was a lot of blood all over Dean, Sam, you, and it was still dripping onto the floor. Castiel looked over you as Dean placed you down on the couch, your head gently resting on the plush arm of the sectional. Cas lifted Dean’s jacket to inspect the damage. You unconsciously squirmed from the pain.  
“It’s really bad, Cas.” Dean repeated.  
“What did this?” Cas’s knelt down at your side, placing his shaky hands lightly on your bloodstained stomach.  
Dean noticed Cas’s hands shaking, but ignored it. “Hellhounds. One of them got her good.”  
“This… this is not something I can heal right away.” Cas admitted, his voice almost as shaky as his hands. Sam paid close attention to Cas’s unusual reaction, his heart sinking. He knew how Cas felt about you. He knew that Cas and you didn’t see eye-to-eye a lot and that you barely even spoke one-on-one, but he knew that Cas cared for you.  
“What the hell does that mean? You can’t heal it right away? Answer this Cas, can you save her?” Dean’s voice was filled with urgency. Time really was of the essence. It was only a matter of time before you bled out.  
“She is mortally wounded, from a hellhound no less. These types of wounds take a lot of power to heal. If I were to try to heal her completely, it would deplete me of everything I have. That may still not be enough. We will need to do this in stages.” Cas explained as he lowered his right hand over your wound. A light blue glow expanded under his palm, and then disappeared. The bleeding stopped. “Sam, I need the first aid kit.” Castiel commanded again. “I will wrap the wound. She is no longer bleeding, but it will be awhile before she awakens. She lost a significant amount of blood. She will need time for her body to regain its strength.”  
Dean nodded. “Thanks Cas.” He glanced back up as Sam returned with the first aid kit. He nodded at Sam and walked into the other room. He needed some air.  
Castiel placed gauze over your wound, then wrapped medical wrap around you, holding pressure. “She’s lucky.” Cas whispered. “Any deeper and there would have been no muscle left holding her organs in.” He continued bluntly.  
“Thanks for that imagery, Cas.” Sam wrinkled his nose at the thought. “I’m just glad she has you.” Sam smiled down at the angel, who returned the remark.  
Cas placed his hand on yours. “She’s lucky you two thought quickly.” Cas blinked slowly, and then rose to stand next to the younger Winchester. “Thank you, Sam.”  
Dean stomped back into the room, holding his tablet in his hand. “There’s another lead on Crowley, this time in Oklahoma. Tens of people have gone missing and sudden strange weather. Sam and I should head out in the morning.” Dean glanced down at you. “Cas, stay with Y/N while Sam and I check this out. After all this, we need to nail that son of a bitch once and for all.”  
Cas’s eyes widened. “What?” He shook his head in disagreement.  
“Cas, she needs healing and you need to be here to do that. She sure as hell isn’t leaving this bunker until she has all of her strength back. You can stay here and heal her and help her when she wakes up.” Dean smiled down at you.  
“Dean—“ Cas choked.  
“It’s happening, end of discussion.” Dean snapped as he left the room again.  
Cas peered down at your unconscious form. You and him alone for at least a few days. He closed his eyes. He knew that when you woke up, you were going to be pissed.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2

You woke up in your dark bedroom, the only light shining from the clock on the bedside table. You cranked your sore neck to the side and checked the time. 8:34am. You peered at the small blanket draped over your legs. It felt different from the blanket you usually kept in your room.  
You breathed deeply and took inventory. The pain in your stomach was the most noticeable, making it difficult for you to sit up in bed. You leaned over to flick on your bedside lamp, noticing a small wrap around your right elbow. Odd. You didn’t remember cutting your elbow. You glanced traced up your arm to the familiar red Stanford t-shirt you were sporting. Sam. You smiled at your best friend’s shirt that luckily fit more like a dress on you, seeing as you weren’t wearing any pants.  
A knock on your door made you jump. “Come—“ you cleared your dry throat, “Come in.” The door slowly opened. “Sam, thanks for help—“ Your gaze fixed on the sapphire-eyed figure standing before you. “Oh, hey Cas.” Your stomach fluttered as the angel shuffled towards you holding a small towel and a bowl of water.  
“I’m glad to see you awake. It’s been lonely the past couple of days.” The corner of Cas’s mouth curved into a shy smile. Ever since you two had met, it had been awkward between you. You weren’t the biggest people person to begin with, let alone angel person. It was a civil friendship at best, but you avoided the awkward celestial being when you could.  
You finally processed his words. “Wait, days? Where are Sam and Dean?” you commanded, the force in your voice causing your stomach to ache even more.  
Cas took a deep breath, “They are chasing a lead on Crowley in Oklahoma. They will be back in a day or two.”  
Anger filled your muscles as you clenched your fists. They left without you. You were the one who wanted Crowley dead the most, especially after what he did to you. “So, now I’m stuck here alone with a celestial toddler.” You pouted, more pissed that Dean and Sam had left you behind.  
Cas lowered his head as he sat down on the edge of your bed. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I just came in to check your wound and try to heal you some more. I’ve gained enough strength since the last session when you were injured.” His voice was low, a strong whisper.  
“Session? You asked.  
“Your wound was, well, it would have killed you. You would have bled out. Healing a wound that bad takes a lot of power, so I’ll need to heal you in sessions.” Cas’s gaze fixed on yours, making your muscles tingle. What the hell is going on? Sure, Cas was attractive for an angel, but he was hard to get to. It was like talking to a robot sometimes, a cute robot.  
“Well, thanks Cas.” You mumbled, still mad that you were stuck alone with Cas for another day or two.  
Cas cleared his throat. “So, do you mind if I check on your wound?” He glanced down at your shirt. Your eyes widened as you nodded. Cas leaned over and pulled the blue plaid blanket down a bit, you now recognizing it as Castiel’s. Then, he lifted your shirt just above your wound. A breath shuttered out of you as he placed his hand just above the bloodied gauze. A blue light grew under his palm. The power radiating from him made your skin tingle with warmth. When the light disappeared, he gently pulled on the medical tape holding the gauze down. You winced as the gauze lifted, some pieces snagging on the dried blood before finally lifting.  
“I really mean it Cas. Thanks.” You smiled sincerely. Something about him taking care of you made your stomach, the intact part, flutter.  
“Of course.” Cas smiled back. He lightly blotted the dried blood with the damp towel. Your nose scrunched as you looked down at the dirt and dried blood that covered your abdomen.  
“Uck. I need a shower.” You spun your legs over the side of the bed, barely missing Cas in the process. The move made you dizzy causing you to lean your head onto Cas’s shoulder. “Okay, maybe a bath.” You corrected. Shit, you were really weak.  
Cas placed his hand against the small of your back. You tensed at his gentle touch. “Here, I’ll help you to the bathroom.” You whimpered as his hand slipped away. He stood and offered both of his hands. You slipped your hands into his and slowly lifted yourself off the bed. The next second, your face was against his firm chest. You lingered there for a moment, taking in the sent of honey and cinnamon. “Sorry.” You mumbled, lifting your gaze to meet the angel’s crystal eyes. You didn’t want to push away, but you did. “Bathtime.” You chuckled.  
**  
Cas ran the bath water as you sat on a chair he stole from the map room. You tugged Sam’s shirt over your knees in an attempt at modesty. Cas rolled up the sleeves of his white dress shirt and tested the water.  
“I’ll help you in, Y/N.” Cas suggested sweetly. He turned to you, his cheeks turning pink. Did angels blush?  
You could feel your whole body tense up at the suggestion. “Yeah, you wish.” You mocked as you attempted to stand. As fast as you were up, you were back in the chair. Shit. You couldn’t do this yourself.  
“Y/N… you are still very weak. Please, let me help you—“ He reached for your arm and you swatted him away.  
“Yeah, like I said, you wish!” You crossed your arms in protest.  
“Y/N, please.” Cas knelt down in front of you. His eyes were glassy, a worried look painted on his face. He was truly concerned. But why? Why the hell did he care about you? Sure, you were both one the same team, but it was almost as if there was something else motivating him.  
He slipped his arm around your waist, breaking you from your thoughts. He lifted you out of the chair and smiled. “Come on, we both know this is for your own good.” His smile was sweet, caring. You rolled your eyes and nodded, pushing away your pride. You really did need this. The last thing you needed was a raging infection.  
You leaned into him as you slipped off Sam’s shirt and tossed it onto the chair. You shimmied your panties down your legs and folded your arms over your chest. “Let’s get this over with.” You growled.  
Cas just stood there, glancing down at you. His lips curled into a devilish grin. You smacked his arm. “Perv.”  
“Come on, Y/N.” he chuckled. He slowly walked you over to the tub, helping you sit on the edge. You swung your legs over and sank into the bubbles. The temperature was perfect. Your wound stung a little from the soap, but you felt relaxed. You closed your eyes as you let every muscle loosen.  
“Hmmm.” You hummed. The chair beside you creaked, reminding you that you had company. “Hey, make yourself useful and hand me a washcloth.” You chuckled, turning to the angel.  
Cas tilted his head. “I-I’ve been helping you since-“  
“It’s a joke Cas, loosen up.” You laughed as he handed you a small white washcloth. You nodded in thanks and started scrubbing the dirt and blood off of your face. You glanced over at Cas who was just sitting in the chair beside you, watching your hands move over your skin. You continued to watch him out of the corner of your eye as you moved the cloth down your neck, along your arms, then to your chest. His hands fidgeted in his lap and your hands moved lower, over your breasts to your stomach.  
Cas shot up from the chair, his breath shallow. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Call for me when you are done.” His gaze lingered over you for another moment before he headed for the door.  
Once he was gone, you chuckled. This may actually be fun.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3

The soft fabric of the couch was a nice change from your hard mattress. The smell of baking soda and carpet cleaner stung the inside of your nose, making your face scrunch. Why had the angel cleaned the couch by hand? He could have just snapped his fingers and rid the thing of your blood in no time. Silly angel.  
You took in a deep breath as Castiel lifted his hand over your stomach. It had been a day since your last healing and Cas had built up enough juice for another. You could feel his grace hum as he knelt beside you, focusing on your wound. A light blue light radiated from his palm and a familiar warmth filled you. When he was done, he sat on his heels and smiled down at you.  
“Thanks, Cas. I certainly wouldn’t be here without you.” You smiled, buzzed from the whiskey Cas reluctantly allowed you to have.  
Cas gazed into your Y/C/E eyes, the corner of this mouth curling into a slight smile. “Of course, Y/N. I couldn’t allow myself to let you die. I-I don’t know what I would do.” Cas admitted, his cheeks turning a light pink. There he went, blushing again.  
You blinked as his words came together in your mind. I don’t know what I would do. Why was your existence suddenly so important to him?  
You sat up on your own, cheering inside at the small victory, and reached for the whiskey on the table. You took another swig straight from the bottle. You needed something to kill the awkwardness from the last few days. After Castiel’s reaction from your bath, you hadn’t talked much. Each time you looked into those piercing eyes, you lost it. You had undeniable attraction to the angel. You needed to keep it at bay until the boys came back home and life returned to normal. At this rate, that was easier said than done.  
“You really shouldn’t be drinking this.” Cas grabbed the bottle from your hand and took a swig. “It thins your blood and clouds your mind.” He reprimanded.  
“Thanks Dr. Cas.” You snickered sarcastically as you watched him bring the bottle to his lips again, taking several gulps. “Slow down, buddy.” Did angels get drunk?  
Cas grinned. Well, that answered your question. He slammed the bottle back down on the table. “I’m the one watching you, remember?”  
“Then you shouldn’t be drinking on the job.” You retorted, reaching for the bottle. You took another sip and sighed, enjoying the plush couch beneath you. “Have you heard from the boys?” You asked. You sighed, remember that they were out hunting the man who started all of this without you.  
Cas nodded. “I’ve been text messaging Dean with updates on you and he has been sending me updates on the hunt.”  
You perked up. “And?”  
“They tracked Crowley to an old plantation house. They are going to ambush him tonight, if he doesn’t get wind that they are in town. He apparently has his minions out everywhere. He’s on high alert after hearing of your survival.” Cas shifted his weight.  
“He knows I’m alive?” A flurry of emotion washed through you. You grinned at the angel. “Like I said, I’m here thanks to you. He should be shaking in his handmade leather shoes.” You chuckled. Cas laughed with you.  
Then, without warning, Cas slipped his arm under your legs and spun you so your legs hung over the couch. Then, he shimmied between them. “I mean what I said, Y/N. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t made it.” His cobalt gaze shot through you. Surely it was the alcohol fueling him, but you weren’t complaining.  
You slid your hands up his arms. “Cas-“ His lips met yours making your already spinning head whirl. His sweet and spicy scent filled your senses. His chapped lips lifted, grazing over yours, then capturing your bottom lip. A small whimper escaped from you as he deepened the kiss. You could feel your cheeks flush.  
Where the hell was this coming from? Where did Mr. Social Anxiety learn to kiss like this? Again, you weren’t complaining.  
Your mind melted as his hands traced up your bare thighs to the hem of your shorts. He scooted closer to that his chest met your body. His warmth radiated through his white button up shirt as he grazed his tongue along your bottom lip. Your lips parted, allowing him entrance. Your heart pounded against your chest as he moved his hand to the small of your back, pulling you against him. A raspy moan escaped him. His other hand’s grip strengthened on your thigh, his nails digging into your soft skin. Your tongues danced like this was what they were meant for.  
Your breath became more erratic causing your stomach to ache. But you didn’t care. Your hand traced the line down his chest and along his hard stomach. He was a magnificent creature.  
He pulled away slowly, his eyelids heavy over his sparkling azure eyes. A soft smile painted his face as he stared into your eyes.  
“Cas.” You whispered. “I-“ You paused. His face sank as if you told him you hated him.  
“Y/N. I’m so sorry. I-I don’t know what got into me.” He stood from the floor. You whimpered as his hands left you, his warmth along with them. “That was inappropriate. I apologize.” His eyes were red, most likely from the alcohol. His cheeks flushed.  
“Cas, please don’t apologize. It’s only inappropriate if I didn’t enjoy it.” You smirked, your stomach still fluttering. The pain from your wound was a little more noticeable.  
Cas sighed deeply. “You… enjoyed it?” He tugged at the bottom of his shirt.  
“Of course.” You admitted. “Where did you learn that?”  
“Well, I’ve watched a lot of movies since I’ve been on Earth. I guess I picked up a few things. Not too bad for a ‘Celestial Toddler’, huh?” He winked, causing your chest to pound.  
You winced at those words. “Cas, I’m sorry I haven’t been the nicest towards you since I joined the boys. I-I guess I was afraid of what I didn’t know.” You tilted your head.  
“Humans fear what they cannot fully comprehend.” Cas reassured you. He reached his hand out to you. “Now, I believe it’s time you had another bath.”  
**  
Dean and Sam peered down the long driveway to the old, plantation-like house Crowley had supposedly sought refuge in. The gravel driveway weaved through ancient oak trees and rose bushes. The white mansion was in pristine condition, especially for its age.  
Dean spotted angel warding along the concrete pillars of the front wall. Crap. If all hell broke loose, Cas couldn’t be their escape plan. They needed to find another way.  
“There must be some sort of sewer system leading into the house or something.” Dean pondered. “Walking through the front gates would be suicide.”  
Sam nodded. “I’m sure the blueprints are somewhere. We could check the county records. There has to be something.” Sam pulled his binoculars up to his face. He spotted four demons guarding the front door in the distance. Luckily from this far, Dean and Sam weren’t visible.  
“That’s a great idea, Sammy. You are such a useful nerd.” Dean joked as he snapped a photo of the property.  
“Taking some photos for Homes and Gardens Magazine?” Sam joked back.  
Dean rolled his eyes. “No, I’m sending these to Cas. I want to see if he sees something I don’t.”  
Sam nodded. “Have you heard about how Y/N is doing? Has she tried to kill Cas yet?” Sam chuckled at the thought of you strangling the angel if he tried to enter your room.  
“He said she is healing well and should be 100% pretty soon.” Dean informed his brother.  
“Good.” Sam took a deep breath. “She is going to love this place. Now, let’s find a way in.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4

You awoke to a loud crash coming from the kitchen. Cas. You lifted yourself up out of bed and slowly made your way to the small bunker kitchen. As you peered around the corner, you spotted a very busy Castiel. He stood over the stove, focused. Several pots and pans littered the floor, along with a few eggshells and a sea of coffee grinds.  
“Um, Cas, what are you up to?” you ask, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.  
Cas spun around, clad in a plain gray t-shirt you never knew he had and what looked like a pair of Dean’s old sweatpants. His hair was tousled atop his perfect head. He smiled sweetly. “You haven’t had a decent meal in the last few days. Dean left me instructions on how to make a few things, so I thought I would try it out. I don’t know how you humans manage this three times a day.” Cas’s nose scrunched as he furiously scrambled the eggs. Then, the toaster popped, making the angel jump. You laughed as you shuffled over to the coffee maker.  
“D-Did you make coffee?” Your eyes widened. You were seriously impressed; especially since this was the same angel you wouldn’t trust with screwing in a light bulb.  
“Yes.” Cas grinned proudly. “That was another thing Dean left instructions for. I hope I followed them correctly.”  
“I’ll be the judge of that,” you chuckled as you poured some of the surprisingly normal-looking coffee into a mug. You took a sip, wincing a little as you waited for disappointment. “Mmmm,” you hummed. It tasted… normal.  
Cas scraped the eggs onto a plate and added the two slices of toast from the toaster. Smiling, he handed you his culinary masterpiece. It looked just like what Dean made you and Sam sometimes.  
“You need all the strength you can get. Dean and Sam will be back tomorrow and they want you to be ready,” Cas explained. Your heart jumped as you chomped down on a bite of toast.  
Ready? “Wait, ready for what?” you grumbled as you chewed.  
“To capture Crowley.” He tilted his head. “Did you think they were going to take down the man who did this to you without you?”  
You scarfed down the last bit of eggs, trying to hide your excitement. You reached down for your mug, daydreaming about the thousands of way you wanted to torture the fucker. Not to mention how great you would feel about releasing all of those poor trapped souls he was using for who knows what.  
“I thought they went down there to capture him. I didn’t know this was a scouting mission.” You smiled as you placed your dish into the sink. Then your grabbed your coffee mug and turned for the door. “I need to sit down. I’ve been standing for too long.”  
Before you could take another step, Cas’s arm was around your waist, holding you up. He stood at your side, leading you to the entertainment room. “I’m glad to see you were able to get up and around on your own. You are gaining your strength back very quickly.” Cas sat you down onto a large brown lounge chair that Dean usually sat in. He pulled the lever on the side and the footrest popped out from behind your legs. He pushed the back of the chair farther backwards with his arm, so you were fully reclined. His legs straddled you, his body hovering over yours. “It’s time for your next healing session,” he whispered into your ear. His voice alone sent shivers throughout your body. Your breath shuttered as his warmth consumed you. This time, there was no alcohol involved.  
He moved his free hand over your stomach and a familiar blue light illuminated your torso. The pulling of your skin and the slight burn from the healing didn’t bother you this time. It made you feel alive.  
Once the blue light vanished, Cas slipped his knees to either side of you so he was kneeling over you. His hand slid down your side to your hip, the other still pressed against the back of the chair. Your stomach fluttered like it was going to explode.  
“You are so beautiful, Y/N.” Cas whispered, his nose grazed against yours, your eyes locked.  
You let out a sharp breath. “Castiel,” you breathed. Your lips crashed as he pressed his body against yours. He nipped at your lower lip playfully, a low groan escaping his lips. The primal sound made you shiver under him. He glided his lips down your jaw to your neck, leaving light nips along the way. You whimpered as he sucked on the curve of your neck, leaving marks.  
Suddenly, his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. Damn it Dean, horrible timing. Cas reached into his pocket and tossed his phone onto the small end table beside the chair. Then, he turned his attention back to you.  
You slipped a hand up his shirt and ran your fingers along the tight muscles of his abdomen. Delicious. Cas ran his bottom lip lightly along your jaw back up to your lips. They met again roughly. His hand left your hip and explored the band of your sweatpants. He slipped his finger under the band, slowly running it from one side to the other.  
His phone started to buzz again. Dean, seriously. You both ignored it, too immersed in each other.  
“Y/N,” he panted as he came up for air. The two of you stared into each other’s eyes for what felt like forever.  
He snaked both of his hands under your thighs, lifting you off the chair and into his arms. You wrapped both of your legs around his waist and threw your arms around his neck. The next moment you were against the wall. His lips met yours roughly as he ran a hand through your hair. He tugged lightly causing a moan to escape you. His lips pulled away. He raised an eyebrow and smirked. You could feel yourself blush. What could you say? Rough was always fun.  
His rock hard erection pressed against your core. A warm tingle swirled in your stomach as your tongues danced. His hand slid up from your thigh and grabbed your ass, making you pant. He slowly moved his hips, rubbing his cock against your covered pussy. You both groaned loudly and you matched his rhythm.  
Without warning his hand left your ass, leaving you to hold yourself up. He roughly pulled at your sweatpants, lowering them as he traced the curve your hips. His calloused finger glided down to your fold. He ran his finger back and forth as he realized how wet you were.  
You whimpered as his finger traced circles around your swollen clit. He pulled his face from yours, his cobalt eyes fixed on your Y/C/E eyes. His gaze never faltered as he watched your pleasure filled expressions. Your eyes rolled back as the pressure in your core began to build.  
“Oh, Cas. Just like that,” you mewled, letting out a small moan with each breath.  
He quickened his pace with his thumb, inserting a finger into you. “Say my name again,” he growled.  
Your eyes opened and locked to his. “Castiel,” you hummed. He let out a loud guttural moan that sent you over the edge. Your back arched as you rode the waves of your orgasm. His finger continued to swirl around your throbbing clit.  
You smirked up at the angel as you ran your palm over his rock hard cock. He grunted, then pulled you off the wall and threw you onto the couch. He leaned over your still quivering body as he swiftly peeled your shirt off and tugged at your sweats. He yanked your pants and panties off in one movement, then slipped off his own shirt. You studied his rippling muscles as they swirled and swayed down his chest and arms.  
Perfection.  
You sat back up and quickly stopped his hands from undoing his pants. His hands lowered as you slowly brought the zipper down. Your other hand traced the rim of his boxers, which struggled to contain his throbbing cock. You slipped his pants and boxers down his muscular legs and let them fall to the floor.  
“I want to taste you,” you growled up at him. Before he could react, you wrapped your lips around his manhood. You flicked your tongue over the tip where a small amount of pre-cum leaked out. His breaths became more erratic as you slid him farther into your mouth.  
With a grunt, his hands grabbed your shoulders and shoved you back down onto the couch.  
“I can’t take it. I need you now, Y/N. I need to be inside you.” He dipped down to you. The muscles of his broad chest skid over your breasts. He nipped at your jaw and neck as he slowly slid his swollen cock into your pussy, letting out a raspy groan. A loud moan erupted from you as he quickly began to thrust. “You’re so tight, so wet,” he stuttered into your ear.  
“Oh, Castiel. Yes,” you hissed. His thrusts never slowed. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he slipped a hand under your ass.  
His thrusts became more erratic along with his breathing. Then, he slowed a bit. You could feel every inch of him move inside your hot, wet center. You pressed yourself against him as hard as you could as you watched him with heavy eyelids.  
“Castiel, come for me,” you commanded. Suddenly, this thrusts picked up again, more erratic than ever. He spilled into you, muttering your name between curses.  
After spilling every drop he had into you, he pulled out and collapsed, spinning around and pulling you on top of him. You rested your head on his chest.  
After a few minutes you spoke, “Where did that come from, angel?” You peered up at him.  
“After seeing you injured and healing you, I realized how much I care for you Y/N. I guess the emotions built up over the last few days before… well… this.” He smiled, total contentment washing over his face. He wasn’t willing to admit that his feelings had been festering within him for much longer.  
You said nothing, just smiled at the thought. You cared for him too. You knew he knew that. Sure, neither of you had much one-on-one interaction before you were injured, which you now regretted. But, there you were. Naked in each other’s arms.  
Only one question remained. How the hell were you going to tell the boys? They were in for quite a shock.  
**  
After you two cleaned up, Cas reached for his phone to call Dean. He pressed speaker.  
“Hello, Dean. You are on the speaker phone. Y/N is here with me.” Cas greeted the hunter. You rolled your eyes at his wording.  
“You too. Cas, what the hell man? Why didn’t you pick up?” Dean reprimanded.  
Cas paused and glanced over you. His cheeks flushed pink. You chuckled softly. “We were… preoccupied.” Smooth Cas. Very smooth.  
“Great. How is the healing going? Is our girl going to be ready to roll tomorrow?” Dean had a hint of concern in his voice.  
“Everything is going well, Dean. She is healing quickly. She is even doing some mild exercise.” You snapped your gaze to the angel, shocked. Now that was smooth. You couldn’t help but laugh inside. That must have been the first time you heard Cas tell a joke. Ever.  
“Yeah, I feel pretty great, Dean,” you spoke into the phone, realizing that you hadn’t spoken to him since before you were injured.  
There was a moment of silence before Dean said, “Y/N, it’s really great to hear your voice. I’m glad Cas is able to heal you and you two haven’t killed each other yet.”  
“Yeah, I was sure you would be at each other’s throats.” Sam interjected. You chuckled again. You could say that.  
“Okay you two, behave. We will be back tomorrow afternoon. We will make a game plan then.” Dean, the always fearless leader, instructed.  
“Yes sir,” you chuckled. “See you tomorrow.” Click.  
You turned to Cas, still stunned by his joke. You nudged his shoulder. “Preoccupied, huh?” you poked.  
“Well, I was telling the truth,” Cas defended, chuckling. His laugh made your whole body warm.  
“Yeah, that you were.” You smiled up at the angel and kissed his cheek.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5

“Sam and Dean will be back any minute,” Cas grumbled into your ear. He nuzzled his nose into your neck and nipped. You were actually sad that the brothers were coming home. The time you had spent alone with Cas had been wonderful. You had expressed to Cas that you wanted to keep everything that had gone on between the two of you a secret until you found Crowley.  
No distractions.  
Sure, Cas’s presence anywhere near you was now a distraction, but he was also a lot of help. The two of you had spent the morning drinking way too much coffee and planning your attack on Crowley’s new fortress. The boys had texted Cas pictures of the warding symbols that littered the house’s concrete barrier. You had come up with a few plans of how to take them down to allow Cas entrance.  
The door at the bunker’s entrance opened and Dean’s hearty laugh filled the room. “Hey, look Sam, they really are still alive!” Dean stomped down the stairs and quickly made his way to you. You stood, gladly receiving a hug from the oldest Winchester. His muscular arms nearly knocked the wind out of you.  
“Glad… to see you too, Dean,” you huffed.  
He laughed again as he loosened his grip. “Shit, Y/N. That was a close one. Good thing we have a kickass guardian angel.” Dean’s voice was light.  
Sam approached you and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you in for another suffocating hug. “Seriously. You look great!” he exclaimed in a chipper tone.   
“Almost gone,” you chuckled as you lifted your shirt a little. The once huge gash across your abdomen was almost completely closed. There was no need for a bandage anymore. You beamed over at Cas. “He did good.”  
Cas’s cheeks flushed. “I’ve found a few ways for you to destroy the warding around the compound,” he said trying to change the subject. “There seems to be a large tree lining this side of the fence,” he pointed to one of the photos you had printed out. “I think Y/N is small and nimble enough to climb it, get onto the fence, and make a small mark on some of the lines. We only need to destroy a few to weaken the warding enough.”  
Dean listened, nodding at Castiel’s explanations.  
But you didn’t hear much. You just stood there, staring at Castiel. He wasn’t very involved in the effort to take down Crowley until now, which made your heart flutter. He was doing all of this for you, to help you seek revenge, and to probably seek revenge for himself.  
“Okay, everyone pack up! We leave in an hour!” Dean shouted, waking you from your little daydream.  
You nodded at Dean to make it seem like you were paying attention, then scurried off to your room to pack.  
Sam and Cas stood around the large table as Dean and you went off down the hall. Sam crossed his arms, watching Cas’s eyes follow you.  
“So, did you tell her?” Sam asked the angel, nudging Cas with his elbow.  
Cas cleared his throat. “Well, not exactly.” His answer was curt.  
Sam rolled his eyes. “Okay, Mr. Mysterious. I’m just glad the two of you are able to work together and you are getting involved. It will mean a lot to her.” Sam sighed, “C’mon.”  
Cas nodded and made his way to the door.  
**  
Cas was quiet for most the trip to the creepy mansion, but his hands were restless. He fumbled with them in his lap before reaching over the space between you and ran his finger over your thigh. You didn’t look at him, but your rosy, heated cheeks said it all. You could feel your arousal in your core, causing you to squeeze your legs together. You gaze flicked over to him. His glassy blue eyes met your gaze, making your chest throb.  
“We’re almost there, guys. Be ready,” Dean commanded, snapping you out of your trance yet again.  
The immense ivory walls glared back at you as you stared out the car window. They were the one thing between Crowley and your secret weapon. All you needed was to get rid of the warding.  
Dean pulled up to the spot where you had all decided to let you get out. You leapt out of the Impala and sprinted for the tree you had seen in the photo. Your stomach twisted and turned with both excitement and nerves. If this didn’t work, Crowley could find you and finish you off for good.  
You hoisted yourself onto the lowest branch and peered around. It was odd that no demons were out guarding the walls, but Crowley didn’t always have security like the Pentagon.  
Making your way up from branch to branch, you spotted the boys and Cas in the distance. Cas was facing you, probably keeping tabs as you made your way up to the top. When you finally reached the top of the wall, you hooked your ankles around a branch and dangled over the other side.  
Hoping no demons were looking out a window, you shook the small bottle of spray paint and made a line across the symbol. You did the same for the few others that were in your reach, hoping that would do the trick.  
The plantation house felt like it was staring at you. You could feel Crowley’s presence, his power, sending an anxious chill through your body. That son of a bitch was going to get what he deserved.  
Once you made your way down the tree, you hustled over to the boys. Mud squished under your combat boots. Cas shot up from the trunk of the Impala and approached you. You pulled your sleeves over your hands, not able to tell whether it was the cold night air or Cas who gave you the chills.  
“I think I got enough of them,” you huffed.  
“Great, let’s go. Cas, do your thing.” Dean grunted as he turned to towards the back of the house.  
Cas grabbed your shoulder as you spun towards the house. He turned your so your faces were inches from each other. Sam raised his eyebrow to the interaction.  
“Be safe, Y/N. Please,” Cas whispered.  
You nodded, putting your hand on his. “You too.”  
**  
Dean hoisted you back into the tree, then followed suit. You secretly hoped the tree was strong enough all three of you, especially since both Sam and Dean were much larger than you. It was the only way onto and over the wall without going through the front entrance, like the badasses of some action movie. Not exactly the element of surprise.  
Once you and the brothers had reached the muddy ground on the other side, you made a break for the nearest way into the house. You followed Sam as he ran from tree to tree, the trunks barely hiding his massive form. The house was dark, except for a few lanterns near the front door. One window on the second floor emitted a dim, flickering light. Crowley.  
“There.” You pointed up to the small window towards the rear of the house. “He must be in there. I don’t think houses this old have basements.”  
Dean and Sam both nodded. “There must be a back door,” Sam whispered. He turned to the house.  
A loud male scream erupted from the house. The volume was overwhelming, not human.  
Angel.  
You made a break for the front door, not caring who or what tried to get in your way. You heard Dean and Sam shout behind you as the plan shattered into a million pieces. Like you.  
You scurried up the stone steps and busted through the dark wooden doors. You were greeted by a large foyer, complete with white marble floors and a curved grand staircase. Another scream, this one even louder, filled your ears. You bolted up the posh, red carpeted stairs with your muddy boots.  
“Cas,” you whimpered, your heart pounding in your ears. Shit. Bringing him along was a bad idea. Sure, he was a brute force against demons, but if he was hurt he was useless.  
At the top of the staircase, there was a long hall littered with a half a dozen doors. You paused, taking in a breath. Where were all of Crowley’s guards? The hall was empty.  
You jumped as you heard a loud bang, followed by the shouts of Dean and Sam. “I guess they found the back door,” you muttered to yourself. You pressed forward, determined to find the Scottish son of a bitch and snap his pompous little neck.  
You reached the last door on the right and paused. The same flickering light you saw outside poked out from under the door. You kicked the door open as you heard the boys stomping up the stairs.  
“Oh, darling, that’s no way to treat a vintage house like this,” the King of Hell reprimanded as he turned to you. Your vision was fixed on the hostage chained to a chair in front of him.  
“Cas.” Your stomach flipped, almost making you vomit on the antique rug. You didn’t react to Sam and Dean as they blasted past you.  
“Crowley, you son of a bitch!” Dean screeched as he lunged for one of Crowley’s minions.  
“Oh, Dean, enough with the angst. Now, Y/N, I believe I have something you want. Something you treasure.” Crowley chuckled. “And this time, I won’t let him or you live.” Crowley took Cas’s angel blade and carved into the angel’s bare chest. Cas let out a guttural scream as blood dribbled down his stomach.  
The angel’s eyes met yours, “Y/N, go. Go!” he grunted, gritting his teeth.  
You stood there as Dean and Sam fought off the last of Crowley’s goons beside you. Your gaze stayed fixed on Cas. He had several large cuts on his chest, neck, and face.  
“Yes my dear, go. But you won’t be running for long,” Crowley mocked.  
Dean rushed at Crowley. With a flick of the King’s wrist, Dean hit the wall hard. Sam stood beside you, breathing heavily.  
“Me for him,” you mumbled. Sam’s gaze snapped to you. Dean shuffled up from the ground, grasping his arm.  
Crowley grinned. “I’m sorry, love. I didn’t catch that.”  
You clinched your fists at your side. “I said, me for him.”  
Dean furrowed his brow. “What?” Sam breathed, almost as confused.  
Crowley took a step back from Cas, lowering the angel blade. He raised an eyebrow as he smirked even wider. “Now that’s an idea.”


	6. Chapter Six

Cas’s cobalt gaze darkened at your words. “No!” he shouted as he struggled against the charmed ropes. His arms were bruised and bloody. “Y/N, please,” the angel begged.  
You fell to your knees. “If Cas and the Winchesters go free, and you vow to never touch them again, you may have my soul. Not in 10 years… now.” Tears streamed down your face. There was no way you were going to let the son of a bitch take your family away.  
“Oh, my sweet, that sounds like the deal of a lifetime,” Crowley cooed as more of his goons marched into the cramped room. He pulled the knot on Cas’s binds. “Lead the boys and the angel outside. You two,” he pointed to the two largest demons, “take her two rooms down. I’m not done with her.” The king raised an eyebrow and smirked.  
Cas stood up onto his wobbly feet, his eyes never leaving yours. His jaw was clenched in anger as he slowly followed the boys to the door. You flinched as the room around you suddenly began to whirl.  
Your bedroom walls came into focus. You spun to the door to see Cas glaring at you, his arms crossed over his chest. The boys were nowhere to be found.  
“What the—“ You started to shake.  
“We were waiting for you to do something stupid like that,” Cas snapped, a smirk forming at one corner of his glorious mouth. He was perfect, even when you were filled with rage.  
“Stupid? This was part of a plan?” You snarled, livid. “You planned your own torture? You planned my rescue, and left the boys there to be turned inside out?!”  
Cas chuckled, “Sam and Dean will be fine.” He lifted himself from the doorframe and approached you.  
You stepped back as he approached, narrowing your gaze. “Cas, when did you plan all of this?”  
“When you were in that tree,” he admitted, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. You jerked away. “I was to go in, get captured, and be rescued by an emotionally driven action by you. Then, I was to bring you back here and leave the boys to finish Crowley.”  
You clenched your fists at your sides, trying your hardest not to swing and add another bruise to his face. For a moment, you remembered why you had avoided the angel for so long. He was stubborn, aggravating, backstabbing…  
Cas pressed his lips to yours, breaking your rage-filled trance. His teeth entrapped your bottom lip, causing your fists to relax and your mind to fill with lustful smoke. Every ounce of you wanted to back away and smack the angel’s perfect face for plotting behind your back, but there was something primal keeping your lips locked to him.  
Cas pulled away as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He reached and grabbed the device, unlocking the screen. A few seconds later, that gorgeous grin stretched across his face. “Dean and Sam are fine.” And like that, his smile was gone. “Y/N…”  
You closed your eyes as your body again tingled with rage. The look of shock, fear in his eyes had you predicting his next words. “What the fuck happened?” you growled through your teeth.  
“Crowley’s gone.” Cas mumbled. FUCK.  
“Gone? Gone. What the hell do you mean by gone?” you voice was rapid from the nerves. “Is he dead?” Your whole body trembled. You were supposed to be the one to off the fucker, not the boys. That was the whole reason to being you down there in the first place.  
Or was it?  
Cas tossed his phone onto your bed and sighed. “He escaped.”  
You let out a deep, staggered breath. That was it. You lost all control of your temper. The sound of your hand colliding with his cheek bone echoed against the concrete walls. Searing pain trickled up your palm to your wrist. “You bastard!”  
Cas’s watery gaze lowered to the floor. He turned to the door as he cleared his throat. “I was just trying to protect—“  
“Shut it, angel! I don’t need you to protect me!” you snapped.  
Cas peered over his shoulder, not making eye contact. “Funny, that’s not what Dean said when he laid you on the couch, nearly disemboweled. But no matter, you are no longer in need of healing, so my duty is done.” And with a flutter of his wings, he was gone.  
**  
It had been three days since you had spoken to, or even seen, Castiel. Dean and Sam were back from their failed mission, only speaking to you in passing. You had been contemplating leaving the bunker all together, getting as far away from the lying and betrayal as you could.  
You peered up from your tablet to a knock at your door. “What?” you snarled. There was nothing that either of them could say to make you forgive them.  
Sam opened the door and stuck his head in, a sweet smile forced on his face. “Hey there, Dean and I found another case. Wanna come with? It’s just a—“  
“No.” You cut him off, never making eye contact.  
“Y/N, you can’t just stay here in your room waiting for Cas to come back.”  
You rolled your eyes and glanced up at the oversized Winchester. “I’m not waiting for him to come back. I don’t want him to come back. He hurt me; you hurt me. We are a team. At least we were.” You bit your lower lip, holding back tears. It was hard to lie to one of your best friends, hell your brother. Sam and Dean had always been there for you when you needed them, but this shit sank to a whole other level. You had been betrayed and the man who nearly killed you got away again.  
“Then why have you been pouting in here for days, barely eating or caring for yourself? You are grieving more than Crowley’s escape. You’re grieving Cas. I know more than you think. Y/N.” You perked up, shifting on your bed to face Sam. You gently placed your tablet beside you, giving him your full attention.  
“How?” There was no more hiding what had gone on between you and Castiel. He was gone now, quite possibly for good. The thought made your insides turn.  
Sam plopped himself down at the edge of your bed and turned towards you. “Well, you were willing to give Crowley your soul in order to save him, for starters. But Y/N, I’ve known about Cas’s feelings for you for a while. He isn’t the most discrete being around. Anyway, after I confronted him, be confided in me that he had strong feelings for you, but was afraid that you hated him. I thought you did to, so it kinda stopped there. When you got hurt, the pain he felt was insane. Dean wouldn’t have noticed if it came out and bit him, but I understood. He used his own power, draining himself to heal you.” Sam explained. You closed your eyes, fighting back tears.  
I don’t know what I would do. You remembered the words Cas had said to you when he was healing you. He didn’t know what he would have done if he lost you. But now, he was lost.  
That last thought broke you. You threw your hands over your face as tears streaked down your flushed cheeks. Sam scooted closer and wrapped his enormous arms around you. You wanted to fight him, but the comfort was actually helping a little.  
“Hey, Y/N. It will be okay. It will work out.” Sam whispered in your ear. You wished you could believe him. You prayed that you could believe him, but Cas had left, taking your heart with him.  
Sam slowly pulled away, making you fuss for more soothing contact. The sound of beating footsteps to your side jarred you as you pivoted toward the sound. Your eyes flashed to the familiar khaki trench coat. His hair was tousled atop his head, clumps of dirt and blood caked to the ends. Large, blood-soaked holes covered his otherwise white shirt and the bottom was missing from his left shoe.  
“Cas,” you muttered as you stood. You were quickly back on your bed, your body trembling with a plethora of emotion. He had been at war, that was certain, but with whom? And why? “What happened?”  
Sam shot up from the bed and nodded at the angel. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Cas nodded back at his friend as Sam exited, closing the door gently behind him.  
Cas positioned himself in the middle of the room, between you and the door. His bloodshot eyes never blinked. “I-I found Crowley.” The angel wobbled before collapsing to the floor.


	7. Chapter 7

It took nearly a day for Cas to finally come to as he lay in your bed, physically and mentally defeated. You stopped in every hour, checking to make sure he wasn’t dead or hadn’t disappeared.  
It was almost midnight when you peered in and noticed the angel staring at the ceiling, motionless. “Cas?” you whispered into the room. He blinked, but didn’t move. You entered the room, the tension smacking you straight in the face. “Cas? How do you feel?”  
The angel shifted, still staring at the ceiling. “Physically, I feel like I took a nose dive into an empty swimming pool.” Your eyes widened at the analogy. The angel wasn’t one to speak in riddles or metaphors. “Emotionally, I feel like that but a thousand times worse.”  
Your stomach clenched at his words. It was all your fault. You had blown up at him for setting you up, which was a damn good reason to be pissed, but he still put his life on the line for you. He had no idea if Crowley would kill his off before you entered the room. Not to mention he used his power every day to save you from certain death.  
He loved you. And now he hated you.  
You slowly approached the dazed angel. “Cas, I’m so sorry. I mean, you really did hurt me, but I’m sorry that it all needed to be done in the first place. If I hadn’t gotten hurt by those damn hellhounds, none of this would have happened.” You sighed as you gently slid onto the edge of the bed, placing a hand beside Cas’s.  
He shifted towards you, taking your hand. “Y/N, I accept your apology and offer my own. I shouldn’t have gone behind your back like that, but it seemed like the only surefire way to at least attempt to capture Crowley.” He rose up and scooted closer to you, still holding your hand in his. “And if you hadn’t been attacked by that hellhound, then we wouldn’t have grown as close as we are now.” He paused, sighing at the horrible thought. “Your attack was almost a brutal, bloody blessing in disguise.” He was right. Crowley unknowing did you a favor in that way. Sure, it was a totally fucked up way of bringing two people together, but it worked.  
You examined Cas as he inched towards you. His bloody white shirt was completely open, exposing his bruised abdomen. You licked your lips as your eyes traced over his rippling abs flexing with each movement. Your finger skated around each gash and bump. “Cas. Let me get you a new shirt. You need to do something about those cuts.” You froze as you realized they weren’t healing. “Cas, does Crowley still have your angel blade?”  
The angel nodded in defeat. “I tried to get it back, but I was seriously outnumbered.” That must have been were he went when he got mad, hoping to finish the job without distractions.  
You smiled in a small attempt to comfort the broken man. You slowly stood from the bed and turned to the door. “I’ll be back in a sec. Don’t go anywhere.”  
You came back five minutes later with a bowl of water, a small washcloth, and a t-shirt stolen from Dean’s dresser. You had to admit, Cas looked really cute in a t-shirt.  
He reluctantly allowed you to wipe the blood from his wounds, wincing occasionally if you got too close to an opening.  
Cas chuckled under your touch. “What’s so funny?” you asked, furrowing your brow.  
“It’s nothing. I just realized that the roles are reversed. You are now tending to my wounds.” The corners of his mouth curled into a sweet smile. You really couldn’t stay mad at him, but he didn’t need to know that.  
You continued to clean him up in silence, your eyes occasionally catching each other. You stroked his soft skin with the damp cloth, inching lower and lower until it reached the band of his pants.  
The water bowl slipped from your hands, spilling onto the floor below. Cas gripped your wrist and yanked you on top of him, his eyes never leaving yours. He gripped you as he rolled, positioning you beneath his rigid body. His lustful eyes swept over every inch of you, making you tingle with need.  
“Cas–” His mouth was on yours, his hardened hands gripping your wrists above your head.  
You bucked your hips against him, grinding against his massive erection. He moved a hand from your wrist and pinned your hips down to the bed. “Not yet,” he commanded against your mouth. Your hips rolled, fighting his hand, as the desire in his voice filled you. You struggled beneath him, silently begging for friction.  
A sharp moan left you and your lips broke free, his mouth skimming across your lower jaw.  
Cas’s gaze swung to the door as it creaked open. “Cas, buddy, how are—“ Dean’s eyes widened as he absorbed the situation, “Oh, shit. I see you two have made up.” The older Winchester played.  
Cas snarled, “Leave.” Dean threw his hands up and shrugged, then exited without another word.  
Cas’s ardent stare consumed you once again, your pussy aching for touch. The angel nipped at your jaw, tracing down to your throat, then down to your chest. He sat up, releasing his grip, and hitched your shirt over your head. He tossed it onto the ground. It landed on the once neatly folded shirt you retrieved from him earlier.  
His hand planted down on your wrists once again as his lips floated over the swell of your breast. He swirled his tongue around your nipple, causing the pressure in your core to build.  
“Castiel,” you groaned. His crystalline eyes, darkened with lust, flicked up to you as he continued to tease you. Noticing your hips were free again, you slowly grind against him. “Oh, Castiel,” you sobbed. You forced your throbbing clit against his confined erection.  
That triggered something much darker than you thought he was capable of. At the snap of his fingers, your wrists were bound together with invisible twine. You gasped at Cas’s urgency as he removed your pants and soaked panties, leaving you completely naked under him.  
“Now my hands are free…” He slipped his middle finger between your folds, “to do this,” he hissed. His eyes met yours again, silently making sure you were comfortable with everything. You grinned, giving him the “go ahead”.  
His lips ambushed your clit, his tongue flicking at your pulsing nub. “You’re so wet for me, little honey bee.” His voice rumbled against your heat, pushing you closer to your climax. “So sweet,” he hummed as he ran his tongue along your dripping folds. You couldn’t remember the last time someone spend this much time with you, on you. You slowly rolled your hips as he snapped his tongue into your hole.  
“Castiel…” You writhed beneath him, just seconds away from your peak.  
“Y/N,” he panted, “scream my name,” he commanded. He roughly inserted two fingers inside you, stretching your swollen walls.  
“Castiel! Oh—“ You arched your back as your climax flooded over you. Cas pumped his fingers into you, his thumb circling your clit as your juices dripped down to his wrist.  
Cas licked his fingers as he straddled you, his erection still pressing against his pants. He knelt, his hands floating to his sides as he slowly scanned over your trembling body. His gaze halted over his favorite places: your eyes, your lips, your breasts, the curve of your hips. Your heart fluttered as he hovered over you, pure love and passion fueling him.  
Cas quickly rid himself of the rest of the constricting clothing, freeing his twitching cock. You bit your lower lip as you eyed the pulsing vein that snaked up the front, desperate to taste it.  
You tugged at your invisible ties, aching to take him in your mouth. “Cas, please, I need to taste you.” The blue-eyed angel smiled, admiring your desperation for a moment before freeing you. You bolted up from your reclined position and scrambled to your knees, shoving him back onto the bed. You wrapped your tongue around the tip, soaking up his groans and growls.  
“Y/N. That feels so good.” He gasped as you took as much of him as you could into your mouth, sucking and sliding your lips over his length. “Uuh.” He threw his head back as he bucked into you. You gripped his thighs. One hand slowly snaked up to his balls, gently squeezing and fondling them.  
Cas shot up and grabbed you, flipping you around in one fluid motion. You panted as you hovered between him and the large wooden backboard, your shoulders pinned against the frigid wall. You gripped the top of his hair with one hand, the other flat against the wall above you. You were sure Dean would have heard the noise from his room on the other side of the wall, but you didn’t care. Obviously Cas didn’t either.  
Your legs squeezed around his waist as he knelt on the bed. One hand firmly gripped your ass, the other slid up and down your thigh.  
“Cas, please.” Your lips quivered. “Fuck me!” You shouted as you rolled your hips.  
He raised an eyebrow as he smirked. “I don’t know, I think I like you right here,” he toyed. He bit his lip as his eyes met yours, his eyelids heavy. His smirk evolved into a toothy grin as he watched you tremble at his touch. You had never seen this side before, this predatory possessive side that apparently drove you wild.  
“Please,” you whimpered as you skimmed your lips against his ear. “I need your cock inside me, Castiel. Slam your cock into my cunt, please Cas. Take me.”  
Cas chuckled as you pled. He repositioned you so his erection rubbed against your entrance. You fisted his hair and you moaned into his ear, bucking your hips against him. The suspense was killing you, a familiar pressure building up just below your navel.  
Cas gently brushed his lips against yours as he plunged his massive cock deep inside you. “Cas! Oh my—Oh, Cas!” You shouted as the brawny angel bounced you on top of his cock. Your nails dug into his shoulders, making his roar your name. As he pumped, one finger circled your clit. You were determined to hold back until he was ready, which was so much easier said than done.   
“Oh, Y/N. Come for me.” His finger pressed harder against your clit, continuing to swirl around this slick flesh.  
You rubbed your nose against his, shaking your head lightly, unable to form any words. You continued to hold on as your angel slammed you against the headboard. Each thrust slammed the solid wood against the wall with a loud thud.  
Cas picked up his pace as he neared his climax. He threw his head back and groaned, “Y/N!” One more powerful thrust and you let go, your nectar soaking your thighs as it dripped down. Cas continued to thrust until every last drop was spent.  
You both held each other, suspended in passionate bliss. Cas cupped your cheek as he gently planted a kiss on your lips. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. About everything.” He kissed you again, “I never meant to hurt you,” kiss, “or upset you,” kiss.  
You clenched muscles around his cock and watched him gasp. “I forgive you, Cas. But you aren’t off the hook yet.” You grinned.  
Cas tilted his head. “After all that?” he huffed.  
You clenched your muscle again, making his groan loudly. “Oh, sweet angel, you have a lot of making up to do.”  
Three loud thuds startled both of you. “Yeah, but not tonight!” Dean shouted from the other side of the wall, obviously having heard everything. You both laughed as you held each other, forgetting about Crowley and the rest of the monsters for a moment.


	8. Chapter Eight

Crowley spun the empty glass jar in his hands. He shifted in his makeshift throne and let out a deep sigh, alarming one of the followers at his side.  
“Is something the matter, My Lord?” the goon asked.  
Crowley snorted out a laugh, never taking his eyes off the simple glass jar. “I’m just imagining taking something from those bloody Winchesters. Something the boys and their dull little angel truly treasure.” He gently placed the jar on the arm of his giant wooden chair. “Something that would look beautiful shining in this jar.”  
The goon forced a smile at his sinister leader. “You mean the girl, My Lord?”  
Crowley’s face twisted. “Of course I mean the girl, you moron! She offered her soul, but slipped through our fingers.” He glared at the large framed demon. “It’s so hard to find good help these days.” The king rolled his eyes.  
The minion stared up at his king, furrowing his brow in confusion. “Why does the girl mean so much?”  
Crowley raised an eyebrow in surprise. “How is that not clear? Did you skip Becoming a Demon 101? When one has an enemy, or in this case enemies, they want to make them squeal and beg for mercy. That’s how you gain the bloody upper hand!” Crowley groaned as he lifted himself from the intricately designed wooden chair. He straightened his suit. “I don’t know why I’m explaining myself to a grunt. Now, make yourself useful and locate the girl. Y/F/N Y/L/N. No doubt she is in that hole the Winchesters call home. I’ll whip up a little something that will make it difficult for her to run this time.” The king grinned. The demon stood there, expressionless. Crowley glared down at his soldier. “Umm, go?” The demon nodded and headed for the door. “Imbecile,” Crowley muttered.  
Another guard perked up from his post beside Crowley’s throne. “What exactly do you have planned, My Lord?”  
Crowley’s grin expanded into a toothy smile. He snickered. “I’ve learned a few things from my dear, disgusting mother. I’m sure I can think of something.”  
**  
You held your stomach as you perched yourself onto the bathroom counter. You woke up that morning feeling like you swallowed a dozen razor blades. Your insides were on fire and everything you swallowed seemed to rebel against you.  
A knock at the door startled you, nearly causing you to slip off the tiny counter. “Come in,” you mumbled. Dean and Sam stood in the doorway, both with worried looks painted on their faces.  
Dean approached you slowly. “Damn, Y/N, you look like crap.”  
You rolled your eyes and smirked, tightening your grasp on your spinning stomach. “Thanks for the honesty, buddy. That’s not even close to how I feel. I-I just can’t keep any food or water down. My fever spiked to 104. I don’t know what’s going on.” Both of them glanced in each other, noticing the severity of the situation. Sam studied your flushed cheeks.  
“Y/N, 104 is a really high fever. Have you tried aspirin? A cold bath?” Sam’s voice was soft as he tried to hide his concern.  
You nodded. “I tried aspirin, and I think I got some of it into my system. I threw up about twenty minutes later. As for a cold bath, I don’t think I could handle that. My skin aches when anything touches it. I have been using an ice pack,” you held up a small ice pack wrapped in a paper towel, “and I’ve been holding it to my forehead.” You wobbled on counter as your head began to spin. The fever was probably still rising. That was dangerous.  
“Here—“ Dean perched himself on the counter beside you, his ass hanging over the rim of the sink, and held the ice pack to your forehead. He pulled you against him and rocked you. “Just relax and breathe. I know you’re stubborn as all hell, but we are all here for you. Cas is worried sick about you. It’s killing him to see you in pain.”  
You nodded. Cas had tried to heal you this morning shortly after you woke up, but it didn’t work. Both of you were completely dumbstruck. Maybe he was just too exhausted? But you couldn’t help feeling it was something much bigger than that.  
Heavy footsteps caught your attention. You glanced up at your angel, who stood in the doorway. He slowly stepped over to you; his icy blue eyes were glassy. Had he been crying?  
“Y/N, I want to try to heal you again. There has to be something I can do.” You poor lover looked completely helpless, which was something you definitely weren’t accustomed to seeing. He took your shaky hand in his and smiled. “Just keep taking deep breaths,” he commanded as he placed his other hand on your forehead. His eyes closed as he concentrated. The vein in the center of his forehead began to rise up as he grit his teeth.  
Nothing. Well, shit.  
Castiel opened his eyes, his hopeful look quickly disappearing. You bit the inside of your lip as you fought the urge to vomit. “Sorry, my love. I don’t know what’s going on,” he admitted. My love. The words made your already churning stomach swirl like the waters in a hurricane. But the feeling quickly faded as you finally accepted the fact that he couldn’t heal you.  
You couldn’t hide your fear from him. A tear trickled down your cheek and you leaned harder into Dean, squeezing Cas’s hand. “Maybe it’s just something that needs to fade on it’s own.” You didn’t know what else to say. You hated feeling so helpless, especially since you had been the injured one recently.  
Castiel sighed. He knew very few details about human medicine, but he knew enough to realize that this was something serious. He had been searching his phone all morning for an answer. He had seen every possible diagnosis: food poisoning, listeria, salmonella, parasite infection, various types of influenza. But nothing made sense. It was so sudden, almost unnatural.  
You busted from Dean’s grasp and slid off the counter, heading back to the toilet. You had vomited at least ten times, not that you were counting. After a few minutes, once it felt like everything was out, you leaned back against the wall. Closing your eyes, you steadied your breathing. Cas lowered himself onto the floor beside you, gently wiping your face with a wet washcloth. He leaned his forehead against your temple.  
“We will figure this out, Y/N. I promise.” Cas’s eyes shot back open. “Your face is so warm. Y/N, we should get you to a hospital.”  
You shook your head. Of course you truly were stubborn as all hell, like Dean said. “I’ll be fine, Castiel. I just need to get it all out, whatever it is.” You shot up again and gripped the toilet, your insides burning more than they were before. You closed your eyes as you vomited yet again into the toilet, not caring that you had an audience. You heaved and heaved, silently praying that this was the last time. But this time felt a little different than the last dozen or so times. Once you were done, you opened your eyes and gasped. “Shit.” Blood. The room began to spin.  
You fell back against Cas as you struggled to stay alert. Cas gripped you tightly. You heard him mumble something to Sam and Dean.  
Once the room came back into focus, you wiped your face with the back of your hand. Your already burning insides clenched tighter. More bright red blood smeared over the back of your hand. “Well, that can’t be good,” you mumbled as your eyes fluttered shut.  
“Y/N? Y/N?! I have to get her to a hospital now!” Cas squawked as he lifted you tightly into his arms. He pressed your head against his chest. “Meet me there.” And like that, he was gone.  
**  
Cas’s grip on you remained strong as he anxiously glanced around the hospital lobby. He studied the sign. Emergency Room. He sprinted down the hall into the flooded ER waiting room. Nurses in navy blue scrubs scurried behind the counter as pages blared over the loud speaker.  
Paging Dr. Roth to Unit B. Paging Dr. Roth to Unit B.  
A few individuals with lab coats and stethoscopes scribbled into charts as patients chattered throughout the room. Coughs and groans mixed in with the rest of the hospital symphony.  
Cas took in a deep breath. “I need a doctor,” he announced to the room. Business continued around him, no one even glancing his direction. You coughed violently a few times before settling back against his chest. A line of blood trickled down your cheek. He took in a deeper breath. “I need a doctor, now!”


	9. Chapter Nine

Boop… Boop… Boop.  
Your heart rate monitor beeped as the boys and Cas struggled to figure out what happened. According to the doctor, your organs were slowly shutting down with no explanation. No infection, no poison. Nothing.  
Cas paced at your side as you lay there, comatose and dying. Dean’s phone was glued to his ear as he called every contact in his list. Sam, on the other hand, had his face buried in his tablet, searching for the tiniest clue.  
Letting in a deep breath, Cas turned to you. His eyes watered as he watched the heart rate monitor spike and drop with every beat of your heart. He leaned over your alabaster face and gently placed his fingers onto your forehead. Closing his eyes, he concentrated on your subtle brainwaves. Something was different about you, about your presence. It was like something was draining you from the inside.  
“Cas,” Dean muttered. “Her nose.”  
Cas opened his eyes to find a small ribbon of blood dripping from your right nostril. He let out a deep breath as his body tensed. “I know what this is,” he spat as his face twisted. “It’s a spell. I haven’t seen anything like this for… thousands of years.” His voice cracked as he remembered every victim’s outcome.  
“Crowley,” Dean sneered as he stood. “That son of a bitch!” He slammed the palm of his hand against the wall behind him. “I knew this smelled like demon filth!”  
“But why? Why her? Why not one of you?” Cas’s eyes didn’t leave you.  
Sam huffed. “Thanks, Cas.” Sam scowled at the angel before continuing. “Anyway, don’t you remember? She offered her soul to save you. He’s probably trying to collect what he thinks is rightfully his.” Sam glanced over at his brother, then back at Cas. “He’s trying to collect her soul from the safety of his rabbit hole.”  
Cas rolled his eyes as he clenched his fists at his sides. “Like a spoiled toddler, taking what he wants. But he can’t have her!” his voice boomed throughout the room, making the windows and walls rattle. Cas took a moment to relax again, as best as he could. “We have to find him before…” His voice trailed off.  
Dean furrowed his eyebrows. “Before what, Cas? What is this?”  
Cas tried to shove the flashbacks deeper into his mind. “I’ve seen this spell before, a long time ago. It lasts two, maybe three days before the victim’s body gives out. The point of the spell is to painfully extract the soul of the victim, intact. Other means of death tend to rip the soul somehow, deeming it weaker or less valuable. This is the only true, torturous way of collecting an intact soul. The only other being who performed the spell to my knowledge is Lucifer. Long before he was locked in the cage.” Cas closed his eyes as he imagined the other victims screaming in pain before losing consciousness. “We need to find the cure.”  
Sam stood from his chair. “I have a few spell books in the car. There’s got to be something in one of them.” Cas sighed, knowing that Sam was most likely searching in vain.  
Cas grit his teeth as his eyes glued back to your heart monitor. Every blip of the line gave him hope that there was something he could do to reverse it. Something he could do to keep you there with him.  
**  
Crowley ran his finger along the rim of the glass jar set in the middle of the shelf. It was only a matter of time before he had what he wanted. Not only would he have the perfect hostage, he would gain an invaluable negotiation tool to ultimately stop the Winchesters.  
And the angel.  
He was the only one, other than the great fallen angel himself, who knew how to collect intact souls. No scratches or dings.  
The king closed his eyes as he imagined the amount of pain and suffering you must have been in. Surely your brain was beginning to swell as your kidneys failed. The world’s strongest pain medicine wouldn’t have been able to take the edge off.  
But it was taking too long. The king cleared his throat as he snapped his fingers.  
**  
Sam perked up as he found an interesting in the book he cradled in his lap. “Guys, it says here that a soul extraction spell this strong must be sourced only by an angel or a demon. The power behind the spell lays with the caster.” Sam glanced up for a moment before his eyes fell back to the page. “If the caster is injured, the spell is weakened. The weaker the caster gets, the weaker the spell becomes before the spell breaks. We don’t even need to kill Crowley to break the spell, just weaken Crowley enough.”  
Dean shook his head. “Great! So we will just float on over to Crowley and break his legs. Easy peasy.” Cas winced at his sarcasm. “And if we can’t find the son of a bitch in,” Dean glanced down at his phone, “less than twelve hours, she’s dead.”  
Dead.  
The word echoed in Cas’s head as reality truly sank in. You were slipping from him again, accept this time, there was no bringing you back.  
Boop, boop, boop, boop.  
Cas snapped out of his thoughts as your heart rate monitor sped up. Bells and whistles chimed as every number rapidly increased.  
“Y/N!” Cas screamed as gripped your hand.  
Medical staff flooded the room, shouting in muffled medical jargon as the doctor rushed in. The frenzied cloud of scrub-clad humans shoved Cas from the room. The nurses clipped more wires and monitors to your body as the doctor barked orders at the staff.  
“We’re losing her!” the doctor shouted.  
Booooooooooooooop.  
Cas began to shake as your heart monitor flatlined.  
**  
Crowley grinned as he watched the precious purple light swirl in the jar. He always wondered what color certain people’s souls were. But this, this was a shocker. He was thinking more of a light blue, maybe even a pale yellow. Something sweet and light. Purple was a deeper color, the usual color of a human who had committed darker acts or was filled with negative emotion.  
Well, it did make some sense. It was the soul of a hunter, someone who had murdered tens, if not hundreds of various beings. That would definitely put a mark on one’s soul.  
Nevertheless, it was an intact soul. One he would treasure.  
Crowley cocked his head to the side as he admired the amethyst glow. “Hello darling.”


	10. Chapter Ten

Castiel gripped your hand as he stood over your lifeless form. He had been standing there for over an hour, unable to move or take his eyes off you. He couldn’t accept the fact that you were gone.  
The doctor stood off to the side talking with Sam and Dean. They discussed care of remains and talked with social workers, but Cas remained silent at your side. He didn’t want to think about what was going to happen to your lifeless body. He didn’t want to have to leave you at a morgue or funeral parlor while the boys found a way to get your soul back.  
If they could get your soul back.  
It was at that moment that Cas knew what he had to do. Cas turned to the boys, who looked back at him in return. Then, with teary, rage-filled eyes, he disappeared.  
**  
Crowley gathered his multitude of jars, leaving his most prized in the front and center. Watching the purple glow filled him with sinister glee as the glimmer swirled in its glass prison.  
Crowley grinned at his prisoner. “Oh, my darling, you are so much more useful than just for energy. You—“  
Crowley suddenly flew backwards into the concrete wall. The basement of his new hideout flashed with blue light as the king fell to the floor. Crowley peered up to the center of the room as he scrambled to his feet, adjusting his suit coat as he stood.  
“Castiel, I believe I have something of yours,” Crowley taunted the intruder. “Touch me again and I can make sure it’s destroyed for good,” he threatened.  
Cas turned to the rows of glass jars, his eyes fixed on the center canister. “Y/N.” The angel’s eyes began to water as he stared at what was left of your essence. “Let her go, Crowley.”  
The King of Hell snickered as he dusted himself off. “Or what? You’ll smite me into tomorrow? I’m sorry, but that doesn’t scare the bloody King of Hell, Castiel. Now, flutter back to your boyfriends. There’s nothing else you can do here. She’s mine.”  
Cas growled at the demon as he slowly circled closer to the jars. His eyes flicked back between Crowley to your jar.  
“Oh, and knocking the jar over may let her soul out, but it can’t go back home.” Crowley chuckled as he eyed his trophy.  
Cas closed his eyes as his stomach churned. He was so close, but Crowley was right. There was nothing he could do to send your soul back to your body… not yet.  
Then, Cas remembered what Sam had said earlier. If the caster is injured, the spell is weakened. That’s what he needed to do, hurt the demon so badly it would break the spell.  
Cas’s angel blade lowered from his sleeve as he approached the angel. Cas’s eyes darkened with anger and pure hatred for the pompous demon. As he approached, Crowley grinned back at the angel. “Really, Cas? Are you deaf or stupid? Both? I can make her soul disappear without a trace, and you’re still challenging me? Do you really think you can win?”  
“Silence,” Cas commanded as he marched closer.  
The basement door busted open with a loud bang. Three demons shuffled down the stairs into the basement room and charged at Cas. The angel turned to them, quickly disposing of the first one in a matter of seconds. Lights flashed from the demon as the angel blade penetrated his chest. The second one approached Castiel, lunging at him from the side. Cas turned and met the demon’s forehead with his hand, quickly killing him. The third of Crowley’s goon’s stopped in his tracks, then left his vessel in a large cloud of gray smoke as the body fell to the floor.  
Cas turned back to Crowley. The king’s face twisted as an unseen force slammed him back against the wall. Castiel approach Crowley, his angel blade at the ready.  
The king howled into the empty basement as Cas carved the blade across his chest. Cas lifted the blade and glared at his victim. “You will let her go, Crowley.” Cas carved another deep gash into the demon’s chest. “I can keep this up all night, all year. Let. Her. Go.” Cas boomed.  
Crowley shrieked as Cas pummeled the blade into Crowley’s side.  
**  
Sam and Dean stared at your lifeless body as they signed the final papers for the funeral arrangements. Dean traced the back of his hand across your alabaster face as he whispered his goodbyes. Your skin was slightly cooler than last time he had touched you, causing the reality of the situation to finally sink in. “Shit, Sammy. Crowley finally outsmarted us.”  
Sam peered down at you over his brother’s shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, Dean. I’m sure Cas is kicking Crowley’s ass right now. We’ll get her back somehow.”  
Dean turned to his brother. “That son of a bitch. What kind of sick amusement does he get from all this? I mean, who is she to him?”  
Sam’s eyes widened as he glanced back over his brother’s shoulder. “Dean—“  
Dean turned back towards your body as your fingers began to twitch. The rest of your body quickly began to stir as your Y/E/C eyes opened, staring straight up at the morgue’s ceiling. You slowly sat up as your hands dripped the sides of the metal platform.  
“Holy shit—Y/N?” Dean stared wide-eyed as color started to fill your cheeks.  
You turned to the Winchesters and raised an eyebrow. “What?” you asked nonchalantly. “What the hell are you two looking at?”  
Sam slowly approached you. “Y/N, you… you were dead. Confirmed over six hours ago. Your body temp dropped several degrees. The doctor declared it.” Sam furrowed his brow, his eyes still widened. “And you’re asking us what we’re looking at?”  
“A God damn body coming back to life right in front of us, that’s what we’re fucking looking at.” Dean took a step back, not knowing what to else to do. “I’ll contact Cas. He’s going to want to see you. He’s been worried sick. He’s probably out on a psychotic rampage right now.”  
You blinked. “Um, okay.”  
Dean continued to stare at you. Something was off about you, something he had seen before but couldn’t quite pinpoint.  
**  
Cas fell backwards as several demons ambushed him from behind. He fought against the goons as his grip on Crowley loosened, allowing the posh demon to scurry over to the collection of jars. Cas furiously struggled for freedom as he watched the badly wounded King of Hell grasp your jar before disappearing without a trace.  
“No!” Cas screeched into the cold room as he broke free from Crowley’s minions.  
**  
Sam and Dean stared down at you, not sure whether they should hug you or cuff you. There was definitely something off about you, other than the slightly blue tint on your lips. They studied you as you swung your legs over the side of the metal table.  
“Seriously, what the hell are you two gawking at?” you snapped. They just continued to stare at you. You rolled your eyes as you tried your hardest to avoid eye contact.  
Both of the boys jumped as Cas appeared behind them. They spun around to face the bruised and bloodied angel. Cas’s eyes widened as his gaze fixed on yours. “Y/N.” The angel shoved the brothers aside and rushed over to you. He wrapped his arms tightly around you and pulled you against his partially exposed chest. “It worked,” he whispered into your ear.  
“Well, that’s pretty obvious.” Your voice was low and cold.  
Cas pulled away as he stared down at you, his eyes glassy with concern and pain. He nodded then turned to the Winchesters.  
Dean raised his eyebrows. “Does someone want to explain what the hell is going on?” Dean’s voice echoed in the chilly room. “Okay, lover boy. You broke the spell, which must mean that Crowley is either seriously injured or dead.” He glanced over Cas’s shoulder. “So, this means it’s all over? So, what’s wrong with her?”  
Sam tilted his head. “Something doesn’t seem right.”  
You hopped off the tabled and marched towards the door. “Well, while you geniuses figure it out, I’m going to grab some coffee.”  
Dean huffed a laugh. “Right, you were dead just minutes ago and your next move it to grab a latte? This is what I mean, Cas.” Dean turned to Castiel. “How do you not see something is wrong?”  
“I see it Dean, I’m well aware.” Cas turned to you, then back at the boys. “I was able to break the spell, but then I tried to release her soul, I was ambushed. Crowley was able to escape with it before I could get free,” Cas explained.  
Sam slowly narrowed his gaze. “So, you’re saying…”  
Cas nodded. “She’s soulless.”


	11. Chapter Eleven

You sat down at the coffee shop table and sipped your latte. Cas was seated beside you, across from the brothers. The three of them just stared at you as you slowly sipped your coffee and stared out the window.  
“Say something, Y/N,” Sam demanded as he tilted his head.  
Your gaze snapped to him. “What do you want me to say?” you hissed. “I’m so sad that my soul is gone and it’s going to be damn near impossible to get it back? That I just died and came back?” Your closed your eyes as you tried to shake the fury building inside you. “You two,” you pointed to Dean and Sam, “got me into this whole mess when we went after Crowley. So you need to fix this.” You turned to Cas. “And you, you need to use your magic angel powers to snap that asshat’s neck. I’m sick of being the center of this. I’m tired of being the one who gets hurt. I mean, first I’m nearly gutted, then I died, now I have no soul.” You stood from the table and slammed your coffee mug down. “I’m not getting involved in any more of your bullshit.”  
You shoved your chair back and stormed away from the table. Cas just sat there and watched you as you made your way to the door, never turning back. You meant everything you said, you were done. Those jackasses literally got you killed.  
You opened the door and walked into the bustling crowd on the sidewalk. Cas gazed out at you, fighting back tears as he watched you disappear into the sea of people.  
“Go after her Cas. Bring her home.” Dean instructed. “Sam and I will stay somewhere in town while we figure this whole thing out. We’ll keep in contact, but I think it’s best if she gets some space, especially from us.” Dean explained as he stared across the table at his best friend. “Soul or not, I think she will respond best to you.”  
Cas nodded. Dean was right, Cas and you loved each other. Sure, being soulless changed things a bit, but the bare bones of your personality were probably still there. The angel just hoped that some part of you remembered the love you shared.  
Cas stood from his chair and hurried to the door after you.  
**  
You stomped through the bunker’s entrance and headed straight for your room. The angel followed close behind, watching your every move. You rolled your eyes at the constant invasion of personal place.  
You halted, not turning around to face him. “Are you ever going to leave me alone?” you huffed at Cas, who stood just inches from your back.  
“For now, no. Not until we have a game plan. You aren’t yourself, Y/N. I need to make sure you don’t—“  
“Do something stupid? Try to go after Crowley myself? Get myself killed again?” you snarled. “Look, I would like my soul back, but there is a part of me that just… doesn’t care. I mean, I just want Crowley dead, whatever that takes. If we get my soul back, great. If not, I’ll live.”  
Cas let out a sigh against the back of your neck, causing your ponytail to twitch slightly. Sure, you would live without your soul, but you wouldn’t be the same. Emotionless, nonchalant, unloving.  
And Cas loved you. Deeply.  
“You don’t mean that, Y/N.” Cas whispered against your neck, giving you chills.  
You slowly turned to the angel. “Do I? Do you always tell me what I feel?”  
Cas looked down and shook his head. “No, this just isn’t you. I mean, you are one of the most loving, caring, comical people I have ever met. Now you’re just being mean.”  
“Mean? I’m sorry, sugar. Would you like to hug it out?” You raised an eyebrow.  
Cas winced. Your words hurt, a lot. He placed a hand softly on your arm. “We’ll fix this Y/N. But for now, we need to coexist without turbulence.”  
Turbulence. You’d like to show him some turbulence.  
You tilted your head as you stared up into his sapphire eyes. He was hot, that you couldn’t deny. The curves of his toned body were slightly visible under his shirt. The top button of his shirt was unbuttoned, exposing a bit of his clavicle. You licked your lips as you studied his puckering alabaster skin.  
You smirked right before you leaned into him, pressing a rough kiss on his plush lips. He sank into the kiss, swirling his tongue against yours. One of your hands gripped the hair at the back of his head, the other sliding under his trench coat. Your index finger slipped under his waistband and toyed with the curve of his hipbone.  
Cas gripped your hips and pulled you tightly against him. You slid your hands to his shirt and slowly unbuttoned it. You pulled away from his lips and stared at the glorious waves of his chest. “Castiel, you give a girl all sorts of nasty fantasies.”  
Cas raised an eyebrow as he peered down at you. “What kind of fantasies?”  
His raspy voice gave you chills as you felt your core tense up. You bit your bottom lip as you scanned his delicious form. You leaned in and skated your lips softly up the middle of his chest, over his collarbone, to his neck. “I want to know what every inch of you tastes like.” You could feel the nervous angel tense up under your lips. You flicked your tongue against the curve of his neck, taking in the slightly salty essence of him. Your lips traveled back down to his collarbone, leaving gentle nips along the way. “I want to know how all of you feel under my lips, against my skin,” you whispered against him. “I want to hear you beg for me.”  
Cas growled as he gripped your hips tighter, forcing his growing erection against your lower stomach. He rolled his hips against you as he groaned.  
“Oh, did I touch a nerve?” you murmured as you slipped your hands under his shirt. The warmth of his skin against your fingertips drove you wild.  
Cas snapped, grabbing your thighs and pulling you up into his arms, leading you to the library room table. He plopped you down on the edge of the long table, still holding you tightly against him. He rolled his hips again as his lips found yours. His movements were rigid as he pulled at your clothes. You pulled away to quickly rid yourself of your shirt. Cas’s hands moved to your back to unlatch your bra, pulling it off your shoulders. His lips quickly found your nipple, sucking and nibbling on the sensitive skin. You slid his trench coat and shirt off the rest of him, sending them plunging to the floor. Then, your hands quickly found his think, dark locks. You gripped the hair on top of his head as pressure rose in your sex.  
“Castiel,” you mewled as you closed your eyes. Cas lifted his head from your breast and stared up at you wit lust-blown eyes.  
You suddenly slid from the table, shoving the angel back and unzipped your pants, sliding them down along with your panties to join the rest of the discarded clothes on the floor. Your fingers moved to toy with Cas’s trousers, quickly unbuttoning them, sending sliding down his legs.  
“On the table,” you demanded, your voice dark and low. Cas complied, quickly sliding onto the table. You slipped between his legs and shoved him backwards to he was laying flat on his back. You slowly climbed up and straddled him as you grazed your palm against his rock hard erection. His cock twitched at your touch. You peered down at the gorgeous angel before lowered yourself onto your hands and knees. You nibbled on his bottom lip before running your lips along his jaw. His hands moved up to you hips, but you caught them, slamming them back onto the table just above his head. “No touching.” You smirked as your hands left his wrists. You placed one hand onto the table, just beside his shoulder, while the other grazed over the hard skin of his abdomen.  
Cas squirmed under your touch as his breathing quickened. Your fingers neared the waistband on his boxers as you nibbled on the soft skin of his shoulder. “What do you want me to do to you, Castiel?” You placed a few open mouthed kisses on his chest while slipping your hand into his boxers. “Don’t be shy,” you cooed as you grabbed his cock and lightly stroked it with your thumb.  
Cas threw his head back, “Y/N,” he groaned. He lifted his head back up to gaze up at you. “You said you wanted to taste me, didn’t you?”  
You didn’t waste a second. You slid down to rid Cas of his boxers, leaving him completely naked under you. You drank in the sight of the delicious man beneath you before lowering your head. Your lips wrapped around the head of his cock as your tongue flicked at the small drops of pre-cum. You lifted your lips off him with a pop. You slowly dragged the tip of your tongue along his length before taking him into your mouth and gently sucked as you slowly bobbed your head up and down. He writhed under you as you peered up at him. You slid a hand down to your aching sex and swirled your finger around your clit, causing a moan to vibrate against Cas’s cock. Cas groaned and bucked his hips, crashing his manhood against the back of your throat. You quickened your pace, flicking your tongue around his length as your other hand gripped his thigh.  
“Oh, Y/N. I-I’m so close,” he warned. You pulled away and sat up on your knees.  
You knelt over him as you continued to pleasure yourself. You slid your finger between your slick folds, then back up to your throbbing clit. You could feel your orgasm building up as you stared down at Cas. He remained completely still as he watched you touch yourself. A part of him wished he could watch you do this all night.  
“Cas—“ you breathed as you threw your head back. Your orgasm detonated, causing you to buck your hips. Cas quickly grabbed your hips and slammed you down against his cock, fully entering you.  
The sweet burn as he entered you made you shout his name. Cas thrusted into you a few times before pulling out completely and flipping you onto your back. He slid off the edge of the table and stood, softly dragging you down so your ass was hanging off the edge. He studied you for a moment before slamming back into you. His thrusts were rough and fast as he wrapped your legs around him. Each thrust felt like it went deeper and deeper, hitting the right spot every time. The room filled with breathy moans and cries of pleasure as his rhythm never faltered.  
You grinned as you felt his cock twitch inside you, spilling his warm cum deep inside you. After a few more thrusts, he pulled out and stared down at you with heavy eyelids. You sat up as you caught your breath. Cas wrapped his arms around you and leaned you against his chest.  
“I love you, Y/N.” Cas whispered and he stroked your back. You didn’t respond.  
After a few minutes, you wiggled from his grasp and slid off the table. You headed for the hallway. “I’m going to go shower. I can still feel hints of the morgue on my skin.” You slowly strutted away from Cas, turning to peer over your shoulder. “You can join if you want.”  
Cas watched as you disappeared down the hall, not bothering to gather your clothes.  
His stomach tightened as reality set back in. It was the first time that he had admitted his love for you without you returning the sentiment.  
He closed his eyes and sighed, hoping the Winchesters were making some headway on getting your soul back.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Cas rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair. He had listened to the Winchester brothers bicker for over an hour and had nothing useful to show for it. Sam had researched for hours, trying to figure out how to find Crowley, but he found no leads. Dean, well, he had nothing to offer either, but he insisted a spell wouldn’t help.  
“We already tried a spell, Sammy. Look at how that worked out!” Dean shouted at his brother in an abnormally gruff voice. “She has no fucking soul!”  
Cas slammed his fists in the library room table in front of him and jolted to his feet. He eyed the two brothers. “Will you two apes shut up already?” he snarled. “We need to find Crowley, no matter what that takes. Who knows what he is planning to do with her soul.” Cas glared at Sam. “We need a strong finding spell. Just to find Crowley. It may be our only way to find him now. I’m sure he has found another hiding place that is well guarded, and warded. From there, we’ll go on without magic.”  
Dean nodded towards Sam. “I’m sure the nerd can whip up something. I’m going to check on our little soulless princess. I’m sure she is still brooding in a cloud of AC/DC.”  
Cas lowered his head. He had checked on you three hours prior and you wouldn’t even open the door for him. It was like he was nothing to you, like he was just another being. You had been indifferent about everything over the last few days, from eating to making love.  
And that killed him.  
Cas turned to Sam as the younger Winchester scribbled something onto a note pad. Words to a powerful finding spell, no doubt. Whatever a nerd actually was, Sam’s skills were useful sometimes.  
The moment Dean marched back into the room, the mood in the air changed. Cas stared at his friend as if he already knew. “Guys, she’s gone.”  
**  
Cas leapt out of the car as Dean pulled up to curb in front of the dive bar. Castiel spotted you through the window and froze, red hot anger rushing over him. He watched from the street as a muscular, spiky-haired brunette leaned over your back while you bent over the pool table, concentrating on your aim. Your low cut top showed a little too much skin as you gently leaned your chest against the table.  
Cas clenched his fists at his sides before marching towards the bar’s entrance. Dean and Sam scrambled out of the car, rushing to keep up with the livid angel. “Cas, wait!” Dean shouted as he rounded the Impala. But Cas was quicker and had already made it inside.  
The buzz of the crowded bar slowly faded as Cas zeroed in on you. He eyed you from the doorway as the brunette gripped your waist and pulled you against him, your ass slowly grinding against his crotch. He whispered something into our ear as he leaned against your back, making you chuckle. That’s it, the angel thought as he stormed over to the two of you.  
Cas’s hand gripped the man’s shoulder and turned him around just as the brothers crashed through the door.  
The man let go of you as his eyes met Cas’s. “Dude, what’s your problem?” the brunette growled at the angel. “You wanna go, Sherlock Holmes?” the man mocked as he flicked Cas’s trench coat.  
Wrong move. Cas narrowed his gaze at the polo shirt clad man. “I’m not going anywhere, you are.” Cas’s fist collided with the man’s nose, snapping it instantly. The man collapsed to the floor as blood oozed from his face.  
You stormed up to Cas and shoved him, hard. “What the fuck is your problem, Castiel? Why are you following me?” you spat. Cas winced at your words before letting out a deep sigh, struggling to release the anger that was flowing through him.  
“Outside, now.” Cas gripped you by the arm and pulled you with him as he stormed towards the door. He blasted past Sam and Dean, nearly knocking Dean over in the process, leaving them to deal with the brunette’s angry buddies.  
Once the two of you made it outside, Cas pinned you against the brick exterior of the building, staring deep into your eyes. His lips curled into a snarl as he glared down at you. “You want to know why I’m following you? Because I care for you, Y/N. A lot. I even admitted that I loved you.” He fought back tears as he eyed you. “I’m working as hard as I possibly can to get your soul back, to get you back. But, here you are, at a bar with a strange man’s hands all over you.” He glanced away as a tear trickled down his cheek. “It’s almost like you couldn’t care less about me anymore.”  
You huffed a laugh as you rolled your eyes. “That sounds like a personal problem, angel. I’m just trying to have some fun.”  
Cas tensed at your words. “Fun? This is your idea of fun? What would have happened if we didn’t find you? Would you have gone home with that man? Would you have slept with him?” Cas shuttered out a breath as he waited for your answer. A small part of him wished you would just collapse into his arms. He wanted to see the sweet, vulnerable side of you again.  
But you just smirked up at him, calloused and cold. “Maybe, probably. I mean, he was really hot.”  
Cas’s grip on you loosened. He stepped back, lowering his head. “Do I mean anything to you?” His eyes flicked back up to meet yours, his head still hanging low.  
You raised an eyebrow as you tilted your head. You gazed into his sparkling blue eyes. “Well, you’re hotter.”  
Cas took another step back as his chest heaved. Searing pain shot through his entire body as more tears escaped. He eyed you as you continued to smirk up at him. Neither of you broke eye contact as the Winchesters rounded the corner, shouting both of your names.  
“Cas, Y/N, what’s going on?” Sam asked as he parked at Cas’s side.  
Cas glanced at the giant, then back at you, making you laugh. You turned to Sam, still chuckling. “Cas is just jealous that I’ve got better game than he does.”  
Cas’s knuckles cracked as his fists clenched at his sides. “Take her back to the bunker, now. Put her in her room and lock the door. She doesn’t leave.” Cas commanded through his teeth. His eyes flicked to Dean, who nodded in response.  
You turned to the brothers, then back at the angel you once loved as you crossed your arms over your chest. “Fuck you.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen

You gritted your teeth as you stared up at your captor. The blue-eyed angel hadn’t let you out of his sight for the last four days, making you pissed as hell. Why couldn’t he just get over it and let you move on? You didn’t love him… you didn’t love anything.  
You just wanted to leave that god damn bunker and live your life without a celestial chaperone. You wanted nothing to do with hunting, angels, none of it. But, apparently that wasn’t an option as long as the fucker was still alive and breathing down your neck.  
Which gave you an idea… you needed Castiel dead.  
Your eyes flicked to his trench coat. You could see the glimmer from the handle of his angel blade every time he shifted his weight. Now, if you could just get a grasp on that blade…  
You stood from your bed for the first time today, slowly stretching out your stiff muscles as you watched the angel’s expressions. You could see the sex appeal in the awkward angel. Sure, he was about as cuddly as a street lamp, but damn was he hot. His flushed lips pursed as he studied your every move. You lifted your arms up as you continued to stretch, exposing the smooth skin of your stomach as your shirt lifted. His entire body tensed as his eyes fixed on the curve of your hipbone, slowly taking in your curves. But there was something other than lust in his eyes. He loved you.  
And you could use that to your advantage.  
You gracefully approached Castiel, making sure to sway your hips with each step as he eyed you. You stopped just inches from him and ran your fingers up his broad chest. “Since we’re going to be here alone for a while, we might as well use our time wisely,” you played as you unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. Your fingers danced down to the next one, then the next. Cas let out a low groan as your chilled fingers grazed his bare skin. “After all,” you nipped at his collarbone, “being held against my will doesn’t need to be boring.” He let out a sharp breath as your lips traced up his neck. You skimmed your tongue over his jaw before capturing his lips with yours. You aggressively flicked your tongue against his lower lip, desperate to taste the sinfully gorgeous angel one last time.  
Cas quickly spun you around and pinned you to the wall, slamming his body against yours. He reached down for your legs and wrapped them around his waist as his planted his lips onto yours again. His hands gripped your ass as your tongues fought for dominance.  
“Mmm,” Cas groaned against your mouth as you grinded against his erection. One of his hands gripped your hair while the other held you firm against him, occasionally nudging you against his manhood as he begged for more friction. The desperation in his movements made the muscles in your aching cunt quiver with need.  
Remember the plan.  
You smiled against his lips as you slid a hand under his coat. The back of your hand grazed the handle of the blade as you dug your nails into his skin. “Castiel,” you moaned into his ear. “I need you.”  
That set him off. He reached down to unbutton his pants as you balanced yourself against the wall. You quickly joined him. Why the hell not? What was one more fuck before you offed the son of a bitch?  
You shoved your pants down and slid the crotch of your panties to the side before lowering onto him. His impressive size stretched you, the warm burn causing you to shout his name. This pace was fast and steady as he pummeled into you. He groaned in your ear as you started to roll you hips to meet his thrusts. Each powerful thrust sent him deeper into you, hitting every sweet spot along the way. You reached down between you and swirled your sensitive clit with your finger, quickly sending you over the edge. “Oh, fuck Cas,” you growled as you bucked against him, riding out your climax.  
Cas’s eyes met yours as he watched you come undone. As you slowly came down from your high, you captured his bottom lip with your teeth and clenched your muscles around his cock. “Come for me,” you commanded as you gripped him hard, increasing the friction as his thrusts quickened.  
His cock twitched as he emptied into you. “Y/N,” the angel huffed as he pumped into you a few more times before relaxing against you.  
You slid your hands along his sides under his trench coat. You chuckled as you clenched your muscles around his softened manhood, making him squirm.  
Now.  
You gripped the handle of Cas’s angel blade and quickly aligned the blade with his throat. Cas’s eyes widened as he froze, still inside you. You smirked up at him as you pressed the inhumanly sharp blade against his skin, drawing blood.  
“Y/N, what are you—“  
“I’m not going to be held prisoner anymore. With you alive, I can never be free.” You bore your teeth as you spoke. The pent up anger you had been suppressing for the last few days was finally coming to surface, fueling your need to slit his throat. “I’m not getting my soul back. I just want my life, my way. I want out of this dooms day bunker. I want to be left alone.”  
Cas winced at the harshness in your words. His heart pounded from both fear and pain. The woman he truly loved wanted him dead and that was something he would die to change.  
Cas let out a deep sigh before pressing the palm of his hand to your forehead. He closed his eyes and focused, waiting for the flick of your wrist, waiting for the end. But before you could blink, everything went black.  
**  
Cas stared down at you as he tied the rope tight around your wrist. Your eyes fluttered. You were still unconscious as you laid flat on your bed. He felt guilty keeping you tied up, a captive in your own room, but it was for the best.  
Cas’s cell phone rang in his pocket. Finally. He had been waiting for the call for two days. It meant that Dean and Sam had finally found Crowley, and your soul. It meant that they had made it into his fortress, armed with the most powerful spell they could find.  
It meant that it was only a matter of time before you had your soul back, and the love of his life was back in his arms.


	14. Chapter Fourteen - Finale

Castiel watched in horror as you convulsed against the rope around your wrists. The backboard of the bed shook violently under the constant tugging. Your whole body shook as your eyes rolled back, moving the entire bed slightly with every jump. This isn’t right, Castiel thought to himself as he panicked.  
His cell phone rang in his hand. “Dean, what happened?”  
“Dude, what do you mean? We said the enchantment, then opened the jar. Crowley escaped, again, but everything else went according to plan.” Dean replied on the other line. His voice was light and full of confidence. “Why? What’s going on?”  
Cas just stared at you. “Something’s very wrong. I watched her soul reenter her body, but now she’s seizing. I—“ His voice cracked. “I tried to heal her, but nothing’s working.”  
Maybe the words to the incantation were wrong, maybe they screwed up somewhere. Whatever was happening, he needed to solve it. Alone.  
“Shit,” Cas muttered. “Y/N, please, stay with me!” The angel fought back tears as he watched the only thing he had ever truly loved slip from him, all by his own doing. “Y/N! Please wake up!”  
Your convulsions slowed down, as did your breathing. Cas placed a hand on your chest, measuring the strength of your heartbeats. They were weak, thready.  
No, not again. He wasn’t going to let you die in front of him again. He was an Angel of the Lord, which meant there had to be something he could do. He closed his eyes and concentrated on your heartbeat, which was continuing to slow down. He allowed the blue glow of his grace to flow from his fingertips, into your chest.  
“Come on, Y/N. I’m here. Don’t give up on me now.” Cas begged as he opened his eyes to study you. He could hear your heartbeat getting weaker and weaker until…  
Nothing.  
“Y/N, no.” Cas closed his eyes as tears streamed down his cheeks. He couldn’t believe that he had let this happen, again. And this time, there was probably nothing he could do to bring you back.  
His phone rang on the bedside table. He picked it up and cleared his throat. “Dean, it—“ He let out a low sob before addressing the Winchester again. “It killed her!”  
There was silence for a while on the other side of the phone. Nothing in the reading had indicated that there would be any negative repercussions in doing the spell, which is why Cas had agreed to do it in the first place, despite his earlier stance. But now, he had lost everything.  
“I don’t understand,” Sam murmured on the other line.  
Dean pitched in. Obviously the two were on speakerphone. “Cas, I’m so sorry. Sam and I were damn sure this would work. Are you sure she’s—”  
“Yes! Her heart stopped!” Cas shrieked before he began to sob.  
“You’re an angel, Cas. Can’t you just wake her up?” Sam asked innocently. There was a slight hint of hope in his tone.  
“Cas?” He heard a groggy voice behind him, causing his whole body to freeze.  
“Y/N,” Cas gasped before dropping the phone onto the floor. He turned to you, his eyes immediately locking on yours.  
**  
You stared up at the angel as your whole body began to ache. Your eyes widened as you took in your surroundings. Peering up, your noticed the ropes around your wrists.  
“Um, Cas, why am I tied up?” You raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m not complaining, I just would have liked some warning.”  
Cas tilted his head as he examined your tone, unsure if it was the true you, if the spell had worked. “Y/N, what do you remember?”  
You shook your head. “Not much. I remember being in the hospital, but that’s the last thing that comes to mind. What the hell happened?”  
Cas let out a deep sigh as he realized the spell had worked. His eyes closed for a moment as he allowed his whole body to fill with joy and relief. “Crowley was able to extract your soul. It killed you, for a few hours, but you reawakened. You were soulless.”  
“Holy shit. Was I much different? I mean, without a soul.” The information was a bit too much to process, so your tone remained light.  
Cas nodded as he tried to suppress the memory. “Yes, you were different. But that is not important right now.” He slowly lowered himself onto the bed and stared into your eyes. “Y/N, you died again. Just now. Sam and Dean found a spell that would help your soul back to your body, even if Crowley had it bound to the canister he was keeping it in. They performed the spell, which did what it was supposed to do, but it killed you in the process.” He gently placed a hand on your cheek. “But you are here now. And I love you.”  
All of this was so overwhelming. Since the last thing you remembered, you had died twice and your soul had been held captive by the King of Hell. “Shit.” That was the only response you would muster as you gazed into Castiel’s comforting eyes.  
Cas leaned forward and gently placed his lips on yours, savoring your warmth. You closed your eyes and returned the kiss with hunger and need. You pushed the facts far into the back of your mind and focused on Castiel. His lips were full and sweet, just like you remembered. But before you could deepen the kiss, he pulled away.  
“I’m guessing you would like me to untie the rope—“  
“No,” you snapped playfully. Being half-naked in front of the gorgeous angel lit a fire inside you that you couldn’t ignore. “Leave it on.”  
Cas tilted his head and smirked as his eyes dilated. “As you wish.” You stared up at the man you loved as he cupped your face again. Your heart fluttered as he smiled down at you. “I love you, Y/N.”  
“I love you too, Cas.”  
Cas’s lips met yours again, this time with fiery need. You savored the taste of the man you loved as his hands worked your body, causing every muscle to relax. You were back where you needed to be, back home with the man you loved, with your angel.


End file.
